FOOD
Monday: Protein shake (190), protein bar (180), protein bar (180), cheese wrap (250), protein shake (190), pistacchios (170), apple (95), 88 cherries (352), banana (100), goal 1525 (total 1707)
Tuesday: Goal 1625 2 X banana (210), 2 X protein bar (360), cheese wrap (250), pistacchios (170), egg wrap (202), 2 fruit juices with fruit pieces (220), total 1412
Wednesday: Goal: 1725 Apple (95), 2X protein bar (360), cheese wrap (250), pistacchios (340), chicken wrap (222), fruit juice with pieces (110), protein drink (190), gym snack (190), total 1757
Thursday: Goal: 1825 Cheese wrap (250), pistacchios (170), protein drink (190), protein bar X2 (360), egg wrap (240), egg (150), Chilean Peach (40), 3 bowls of soup made from scratch, going to call the day 1825
Friday: Goal: 1725 Protein bar (170), cheese wrap (250), 30 cherries (120), pistacchios (170), brown chicken and rice (352), brown rice and chicken (352), Yogurt/nuts/fruit mix (300), 1/3 apple bag (80), total 1794
Saturday: Goal: 1625 Apple slices (320), protein drink X 2 (380), cheese wrap (250), pistacchios (170), yogurt mix (300), cheese and eggs (160), total 1580
Sunday: Goal 1525 Fruit platter (Kiwi, mango, strawberries, pineapple, 560), pistacchios (170), cheese wrap (250), chicken and rice (264+220=484) + apple slices (80) = 1544
1707, 1412, 1757, 1825, 1794, 1580, 1544 = 11619
MONDAY 9a Ann Zumba Michele 59/669/30, 177/94, 158/84
MONDAY Noon Agassi Lift Rachel 56/367/60, 140/74, 118/62
MONDAY 6p Agassi Zumba Linda 58/507/50, 156/83, 135/71
MONDAY 7p Agassi PiYo Linda 62/198/60, 116/61, 89/47
Totals so far: 4 classes, 233 mins, 1741 gross cals, 1404 net cals.
I went over 182 calories over goal for today. 1525 feels like too little, but I'm going to have to start eating less as I lose weight. Then there's the fact that I burned 1404 net cals today. I burn about 2000 calories at rest, so that's 3404 cals burned, so I ate just about half of what I burned and had a caloric deficit for the day of 1697 calories. My hope is that I "catch up" because it seems I'm always a meal behind. Sunday and Monday were my first 1525 calorie days and they sucked. On Sunday I ate all of it by 1p or so and then didn't eat again that day (but I wasn't hungry until 11p or so and just held it until after midnight.
I had very good numbers with Michele. I haven't done that high in a while because as people lose weight they burn less calories at rest and while exercising. Maybe I can still hit 700+ with her. I've been doing mid-500s lately.
I've been really careful in not doing anything I don't like. I held off group classes for the first couple of months because in the past they discouraged me. I held off spinning classes because I hated them at the beginning and by the time I retook them three months later I was in good enough shape for them. I held off running for a couple more months and now I'm in good shape for it. But I'm making an exception for PiYo. I hate Yoga. I suck at Yoga. I can barely do Yoga. I think I should hold off until I'm thin and able to do it, because so far I held off doing anything I didn't absolutely positively enjoy. But maybe it's time to change that with PiYo. I didn't like Pilates and a few months after taking it, I can stand it. And maybe it's good to take something I suck at.
I've been very cold lately, and other people around me haven't. And my hair is still falling out in clumps. Maybe mention it to the doctor when I see him in a month to get my blood test results back (that's when the appointment is; I'm going to sign off the results to myself within the next couple of days, hopefully tomorrow).
TUESDAY 8a Ann TurboKick Michele 35/431/25, 178/94, 164/87
TUESDAY 9a Cheyenne TurboKick Kathy 57/602/35, 170/90, 152/80
TUESDAY 10a Cheyenne Pilates Rachel 53/218/60, 123/65, 99/52
TUESDAY 6:30p Craig TurboKick Donalin 53/516/40, 167/88, 144/76
Took Michele's TKB for the first time today. Going to start taking it every Tuesday morning and then leave 20 minutes early to make it to Cheyenne TKB. 30-40 minutes is better than zero!! Good warmup for the second TKB.
I thought Kathy's TKB would have lower calories than normal, since I felt tired (and very cold). But not only did I not go down, I went up!! These are the last two weeks of Tuesday's Lineup:
TUESDAY 9a Cheyenne TurboKick Kathy 57/537/40, 167/88, 143/76
TUESDAY 10a Cheyenne Pilates Rachel 59/189/60, 115/61, 92/49
TUESDAY 6:30p TurboKick Donalin 50/476/40, 167/88, 143/76
TUESDAY 9a TurboKick Kathy 56/541/40,170/90, 145/77
TUESDAY 10a Pilates Rachel 60/299/60, 126/67, 106/56
TUESDAY 6.30p TurboKick Donalin 57/509/45, 164/87, 139/74
Pilates suffered a bit, but the TKBs were higher. I was very surprised. I figured even if Kathy's TKB went down 50 calories or so, I gained 400+ calories with Michele's, so it was a good addition. But if it makes everything else go up, it's even better!! Even helped Donalin's at night. Michele's per minute count is 12.31. At 53 minutes that's 652. I always burn more with her.
WEDNESDAY early morning - so I started writing the book. Two days ago I met my 1k daily goal but I didn't yesterday, but I'm determined to make it up today and hit 3k today. I should be getting the bloodwork back today, I'm really interested in peeking under the hood. It's funny because all of this is happenning both very slowly and very fast at the same time. Is one or even two years really that long of a time for your whole life to do a 360? It has been almost 4.5 months since I started taking the GX classes. When you think about it, that's really not such a long time. The bloodwork is pretty much four months to the date. Wonder how much of a difference four months can make.
So all of this is spilling over into other parts of my life but body composition is one of the fastest and easiest things to change (and it's not fast nor easy). So other parts take longer.
WEDNESDAY 8a Ann Spin Dallas 57/540/45, 160/85, 142/75
WEDNESDAY 10a Sahara Zumba Michelle 58/554/45, 161/85, 142/75
WEDNESDAY 6:30p Craig Zumba Donalin 56/594/35, 170/90, 152/80
Mid to high 500s again.
I wondered aloud to somebody a couple of days ago that I was curious as to when I would feel skinny. I'm still fat and I consider myself fat. What's the magic number in which I'll go, ok I'm skinny? When will I look in the mirror without seeing rolls of fat? 110 lbs? Is there a magic switch that just turns and one day you go, oh I'm skinny? My healthy weight is around 108-145, so I'm within 20 lbs of a healthy weight.
It's funny because not only your body changes but your mind has to adjust to being lighter. If you spend your whole life thinking of yourself as fat, there's a whole paradigm change that goes on inside once you finally consider yourself skilly.
I want to get to 107.5 because that would be half of 215, and then go up with muscle (I may go up to 110 lbs quickly and then stabilize while I build muscle.
I ran today, and I realized I was scared of running. I don't know why exactly. This was week 2, so I went from running a minute, walking a minute and a half X 9 to running a minute and a half, walking two minutes six times (same running time, nine minutes). I was able to complete the whole workout without a problem.
I noticed that I've developed what I refer to as the eye of the tiger, to borrow from one of my favorite franchises. I'm still scared a lot all the time, for example of running, but I think there's very few things I won't try now because of fear. And it's almost as if when I look into my eyes I smirk back at myself because I know how this all ends and I get to find out one day. It's like my image is a few steps ahead of me and knows what comes next, and maybe one day I get to find out. She knows what the future holds and she'll tell me in due time.
I have noticed that, while I still have the regular humanly anger, stress, sadness, anxiety, etc., I think I deal better with it and don't "freak out" when things are going badly out of order. And I also seem to have better reflexes. I was walking in a parking lot and a car turned on and I instinctively dove out of the way and when.... hey, that was fast!!
Fit-wise, I think I'm in better shape than I look. I can do 4 classes in a day or three classes in a row with no problem, and 5 in a day and 4 in a row with a bit of a problem in the last one.
THURSDAY morning - Yesterday I reached 52.5 lbs lost, the halfway mark. Now it's all downhill from there. Took 27 weeks and 6 days.
THURSDAY 8a Ann SET Beth 56/435/50, 157/83, 128/68
THURSDAY 9a Ann HipHop MoMo 56/359/55, 147/78, 116/61
THURSDAY Noon Lift Cheyenne Anita 55/327/60/130/69, 112/59
It's funny because Anita talked about something today that I was thinking about yesterday but didn't get to blog. Mental exhaustion vs. physical exhaustion. I don't think I myself have surpassed mental exhaustion. I stop the exercise when my brain says I'm tired, not when I'm really done physically. It's something I'm going to have to keep working on, breaking that barrier. I give up when I "feel" like I can't go any further, but I really believe that's just my mind talking.
Bloodwork results !!!
The first set is from 9/4. I started GX classes on 9/1 and I don't go to the other side of the gym. I started working out on 7/3 so the first set of numbers were already affected by 2 months of exercise. All other numbers were always normal, so just focusing on these:
Measurement ... Normal range ... 9/4 ... 1/9
Cholesterol ... 125-200 ... 231 ... 171
Triglycerides ... 0-150 ... 153 ... 72
HDL (good cholesterol) ... 46-199 ... 38 ... 52
Cholesterol/HDL ratio ... 0-5 ... 6.08 ... 3.29
LDL (bad cholesterol) ... 0-130 ... 162 ... 105
That didn't take years. That took four months. For the first time in my adult life I have normal levels for all of those. For the first time. I more than halved the triglycerides and almost halved the ratio of cholesterol to HDL. And I really didn't ramp up the exercise until the 24 classes right around six weeks ago, and started really eating well just about 3 weeks ago (my diet changed drastically from the beginning, but I've really perfected it lately).
Blood pressure is 114/54 (that lower one is near athlete level, the upper one is normal). Beats per minute hovers around 60 at rest.
I'd like to note that I don't eat vegetables. That's just who I am, never have my entire life. So that shows that you can make up a vegetable deficiency with other stuff and still have healthy numbers.
FRIDAY 9a Agassi Zumba Michelle 56/581//35, 202/107, 153/81
Someone made a comment on my Facebook today that ties in to something I've been thinking about lately. As I lose the weight I find myself being more outgoing. I think being fat traps your true personality inside, or maybe it's just that the same thing that made me fat was the same thing that subdued my true personality. But I find myself being more outgoing, more sure of myself, more out there. Not to mention more sharing. I think I've just decided that instead of being what people want me to be I'm just going to be me, and sooner or later connect with other who are the similar. I'm barely stressed nowadays. And I do find myself happier, more easygoing (if that's possible... I think I've always been easygoing). More chill. But I definitely notice not really a change in personality, but allowing my personality to show more. And it's weird because I'm both shy and talkative. But I have to really know you to be comfortable around you and I've always sucked at small talk. Not to say that I don't enjoy being around people, because I do, but I'd rather get the formalities out of the way quickly and get to the business of already having known each other for a while. If that makes any sense. But I find myself being more comfortable in more situations and being more daring, doing things I hadn't done before. I think it all ties in to being more confident, having a higher self-esteem, and being more sure of myself that's letting me allow me being myself. And it's not really that you try to go through life being a fake, but sometimes along the way you adapt to whoever is around you because we all like to be liked. But I find myself testing out being more outgoing and open, even though I don't know how it's all going to end up. Taking more chances, if you will. Who am I going to be at 110 lbs? I don't know. I'm finding out as I go along. I've lost half the weight and now, sometimes, I allow myself to really believe I will be 110 lbs someday. Someday this year. That it really may happen. That it's really in the realm of possibility. And then after that happens, I'm left standing with a 110 lb body that I made. So I end up being a person who did something in life, accomplished something. And that's a big change to adjust to. What happens when you are sitting there and all of a sudden you did something? What does that say as you as a person? What can you do next? Can you really lost 105 lbs and have low self-esteem? No, you can't, at least I don't think so. You can't go through all this and not have at least a little bit of appreciation that there's something inside of you that you never knew existed. Strength, if I had to sum it up in one word. I found an inner strength. I found MY inner strength. And once you find your inner strength there's really no going back, it's not something you can lose once you find it.
I find myself wondering a lot what this all means, where all this is leading, what kind of changes all this has prompted. My life changed right before my eyes. Everything's the same and everything's different. I have to get to know this new me. I have to adjust to being the new me. Whether I want to or not. There comes to a point that you really have no choice but to act different because your core is different, so all your actions are different. Your essence changes, and when that happens, there's really no choice on whether you want to go back, stay still, or go forward (you have to go forward).
I don't go the gym to exercise. I don't eat to lose weight. I still measure myself daily many times a day but I don't really put a lot of weight (pun intended) on what the scale says. It's just habit by now, all of it. I get off of work, I go to the gym, I go home, I go to the gym, I go home, X2, I go to work, etc. There's no other way to live but this one, an active lifestyle. There's no staying on the couch for days anymore.
FRIDAY 6p Craig Zumba Donalin 54/564/40, 165/87, 150/79
SATURDAY 9a Agassi Lift Janet 52/197/60, 12767, 97/51
SATURDAY 10a Agassi TurboKick Kelly 62/521/45, 166/88, 138/73
Unusually low day for Lift. For TKB I wore weighted gloves (0.75 lbs in each hand, from BeachBody) gloves and they were awesome, they really made it hard and the whole class was just brutal. I loved it!! Can't wait until Tuesday morning when I do 40 minutes of Michele with them and then to an hour of Kathy/Rachel and then later an hour of Donalin. That will be totally awesome. I would expect this TKB to have lower calories and heart rate and higher fat %.
Here's the fat % for the previous Kelly classes: 35. Well, that was short. What with the forgetting the monitor one time, two skipped weeks because of holiday class cancellations, and forgetting to turn off the Polar one time, these two are the only stats I have. But fat WAS higher with the gloves!!
SUNDAY 9a Sahara Spin Dallas 59/509/45, 159/84, 139/74
I burned less calories than usual. I had my new spin shoes. They flew off the pedals twice, once only one foot, the second time both feet. I think I push my feet outwards subconsciously. After they flew off the second time I focused on pushing my feet in and that seemed to fix the problem. I read on the web that the reason to keep your heels down is to keep the front of your feet from getting numb, and I never had that problem with regular shoes/harnesses, but my feet were way numb today, so that's the first order of business, learn to put my heels down.
Went running after cycling today and it WAS harder but more enjoyable than Friday. I think I just like a challenge. I'm going to keep this routine: Wednesday after Zumba, Friday after Zumba, Sunday after spinning. Once I don't need the indoor track anymore I'm going to do it after spinning on Wednesdays also at the treadmill, right now I can't because I have to go to another gym to another class and I don't have time to go to LVAC and do it in-between. I like the indoor track for intervals because I don't have to keep pressing buttons on the treadmill and I just enjoy running "for real" more.
SUNDAY afternoon - how many things in life are mental and how many are actual? I've been thinking about this a lot because of the running. At the triathlon. I did the swimming. I did the cycling. Now I'm running. I can either stop or not stop until I get to the finish line. What could cause me to stop, other than the obvious getting an injury or a bad cramp or SOMEthing like that? If I'm all in one piece, what really stops me from taking one more step vs. stopping? Nothing. It's me against me. It's my heart vs. my mind. But isn't most of life that? How many times do we stop just because we don't think we can vs. we can't? How many of our stops were really due to us not being able to keep going? I'd say about 5%. I'd say our mind defeats us 95% of the time and we mind-stop. Me included, and maybe more than most people. But if you're running what's keeping you from staying in motion? In cycling class what's keeping you from going faster and harder? I don't think I've reached or even neared my physical limit yet, I'm still trapped by mind-limits. I'm going to be running and there's really nothing stopping from running that 5K without stopping. I'll have the training under my belt, I'll have double the time in the group classes, I'll be stronger, leaner, faster. It goes back to being scared but doing it anyway. Feeling like you "can't" go on anymore but doing it anyway.
I found my calling, what I want to do the rest of my life (I've felt this way about many things before, last of all being a therapist, and that didn't work out that well... I hated it AND sucked at it). I want to be a motivational speaker. First hurdle is that I hate speaking in front of people, so I plan to join a Toastmasters club.
Let's shift gears a little and talk about how we act in front of people. I don't think most people go through life trying to be a fake version of themselves, but we all to some degree act differently depending of where we are, what we are doing, and who we are doing it with. We all want to be accepted. We all want to feel like we belong. So we adjust. But I've started to think, instead of is this acceptable or is that acceptable, could I live in a world where someone like that existed. Is it ok to have someone like that in the world? And in general going with what I want to do instead of what I think I should do or what other people think I should do. I'm still not a complete convert but I'm becoming a believer.
Going back to mind vs. body stops. I think that one benefit of exercising is that it increases your confidence and you find yourself improving and thinking you can apply this to other, or really any, area(s) of your life. But I think there's a subtle but important difference in believing that YOU can vs. believing that it can be done period. I think exercise really shifts your way of thinking in that you believe that anything's possible (within limits) and you start thinking that more and stuff is doable, and sooner or later that even YOU can do it. So in order to believe that you can accomplish something you have to believe that it can be done period. What's the difference between a person who does and a person who doesn't? Most of the time it isn't that the person who didn't couldn't, but that they had a mind-stop.
Caloric deficit for the week:
Goal = 7k
Food consumed: 11619
Exercise: 19 classes, 1044 minutes, 8689 gross cals, 7175 net cals
1985 cals burned a day (based on 162 lbs) = 13895 cals burned a week
13895 - 11619 + 7175 = 9451 caloric deficit.
