Monday, January 18th, 2009 - Sunday, January 24th, 2009 (new number: calories BodyBugg says I burned in parenthesis)

FOOD
Monday: Goal 1525 Apple slices (240), cheese wrap (250), egg (200), protein drink (190), 2 X protein bar (420), fruit drink (120), apple slices (105), total 1525 (!!)
Tuesday: Goal 1625 Apple slices (105), turkey breast footlong on rye (560), cheese wrap (250), chicken and rice (396), apple slices (240), protein drink (190), total 1741

Redoing my food, reached 161 lbs, going to adjust down to 160 lbs, 1600 a day.

1500
1600
1700
1800
1700
1600
1500

1628 average calories a day.

Wednesday:  Goal 1700   Apple slices (240), Cheese wrap (250), chicken and rice (340), pistacchios (170), IHOP healthy menu item (440), protein drink (190), total 1630

Thursday:  Goal:  1800  Protein bar X 2 (220), Apple slices (240), Pistacchios (170), Chicken and rice X 2 (680), was supposed to have 300 calories more but fell asleep while deciding what to have for dinner, total 1510 calories

Friday:  Goal:  1700

I have to get swimming this week, I just have to get on the water just once. Thinking that on Wednesday I'll just go to the pool and do the 32 laps and see where I'm at, because if I can already do the 32 laps I'll just do them once a week and have it done 16 times by triathlon day. Swimming is the least of my worries, and I'm not worried about cycling, and Danny (24HF cycling instructor) estimated I do 20K in a spinning class and the triathlon is 30K, so I'm not worried about it at all, plan to just go 32K in a real park in about 2 weeks and see how it goes. My weak point was the running and I have been training these past two weeks on that. There's just no time!! (and I'm not about to lower the amount of GX classes I do).
I don't know if I mentioned that I got cycling shoes. Lucky brand (that's the actual name of the brand, Lucky). Blue, my favorite color, and it matches my helmet!! Now the clip for gym bikes and for real bikes are different, and most people just buy two pairs of shoes, if not you have to keep on switching the clip adapters every time you switch (and it involves a screw), and I don't see myself doing that. But when I went in to Danny's store a helper was disassembling a bike, and Danny said that he could sell me the pedals for $40 instead of the $180 new ones go for, and these were old-school pedals that were the same as spin bikes, so now the shoes fit BOTH the gym and real bikes!!

Tried them out at Dallas' yesterday. One time I was standing and one shoe just came off. The other time I was sitting and both just came right off. I think I'm inadvertently pushing my feet outwards, activating the release mechanism. After they flew off the second time, I focused on keeping my feet pushing inwards and they didn't come off again.

MONDAY 9a Sahara TurboKick Michelle 55/502/40, 170/90, 144/76
MONDAY Noon Agassi Lift Rachel 53/234/60, 135/71, 105/56
MONDAY 4:30p Cheyenne SET Kathy 50/332/55, 162/86, 122/65
MONDAY 6.00p Agassi Zumba Linda 59/504/45, 159/84, 139/74

I'm pulling in lower numbers in Zumba and TKB since I got the gloves, but not sweating it as long as I edge 500 out of it. SET was low because I think I was just tired. Lift has been low the last couple of times... more weight?

I've been reading about good cycle form on the Internet and the reason that the instructors keep saying to push the heels down is because if not the top of the foot becomes numb. I hadn't experienced that with regular shoes/harnesses. But I definitely did with the spin shoes, the top of my feet became numb sometime around the middle of class, much harder to keep heels down with them, will have to work on that and on keeping them clipped in.

Kelly's TKB last Saturday was the first class I wore my weighted (0.75 lbs each hand) gloves to, and Linda's Zumba tonight was the first Zumba I wore them to. It definitely adds to the workout and I plan on using them for TKB and Zumba. Once I lose the stomach and can kick properly for a couple of months, I plan on adding ankle weights. Zumba wasn't falling-down hard, but TKB was. I've been taking TKB for 4.5 months now so I know I can get through any class no matter what they throw at me. But with the gloves it feels like I won't make it through the class, and I love that, because it makes the experience brand-new again, like the first time I ever took TKB, but different at the same time because now I'm a "veteran." So I'm really enjoying it. Can't wait until I use the ankle weights. With all this upper body toning, that pull-up bar doesn't stand a chance!!

I don't know if I mentioned this but I tried the assisted pull-ups after my run on Sunday. Before I was 166 and I could do with an assist of 100 lbs but not with an assist of 85 lbs, meaning I could lift 66 lbs. This week I'm at 162.5 lbs and I can do 85 lbs half-way, so maybe 92 lbs assist or so, meaning I can lift around 70.5 lbs, so I'm going up a bit. In 1-2 weeks I should be able to lift all the way with 85, with a combination of losing weight and gaining muscle. The weighted gloves should speed that up. This may go faster than expected and I think June is realistic for being able to do an unassisted pull-up.

So I went through a three-week plateau in which my weight didn't move, and then it starts moving again about a week ago. Then yesterday I "met" someone on Facebook who was asking how to get through a three-week plateau. Coincidence?!?! I think for me the zig-zagging did it, thanks to brilliant Debbie the other Debbie of Wednesday spin class.

I just looked at what this week's running includes: Warm up, then run for 90 secs, walk for 90 secs, run for THREE MINUTES, walk for three minutes, repeat once more. I have to run for three minutes. What's funny is that as soon as I read repeat the following two times, the first thing that popped into my head was Kathy's voice saying "You can do anything twice." So I guess I'll keep repeating that in my head during the six minutes of the two runs. This week I have to change my Definition to be someone who can run for three minutes straight. I don't think I can do it, but does that really matter lately, whether I think I can do something or not? It goes back to so many things have happened that it really doesn't matter whether I can do something or not, I just do it.

I do find myself running a lot (I seem to be running almost late to stuff), and it's great to be able to move from point A to point B quickly.
 
 
TUESDAY 8a Ann TurboKick Michele 37/395/30, 173/92, 158/84
TUESDAY 9a Cheyenne TurboKick Rachel 61/507/45, 160/85, 140/74
TUESDAY 10a Cheyenne Pilates Rachel 61/190/60, 117/62, 91/48
TUESDAY 6:30p Craig TurboKick Donalin 53/511/40, 169/89, 148/78

Michele's still giving me the highest per-minute numbers, at 53 minutes it would have been 565 calories and at 61 it would have been 651.  That trio in the morning was brutal because I kept the gloves on all the time, even for Pilates.  I almost took them off many times, especially during Pilates, but I refused to.  I actually was not looking forward to doing it again next week but I know how beneficial the gloves are being so I'm willing to work for it.  I was glad I passed 500 with Donalin, I had an idea that I barely hit 500 without gloves (have to check the numbers) so the gloves would put me slightly under 500, but at the beginning of the class I told myself to think of that class as a 500+ class and it turned out that way.

I told myself yesterday (2:57a right now) that as soon as I started kicking high I would add ankle weights and I noticed a HUGE difference in my kicking yesterday.  Maybe I just really want the ankle weights.

NOT looking forward to the three-minute running, I am majorly psyching myself out.


WEDNESDAY 8a Ann Cycle Dallas Forgot strap at home, calling it 500
WEDNESDAY 6:30p Craig Zumba Donalin 57/587 (BB 524)/35, 169/89, 155/82


It's funny because for the third time this week or so, I end up talking to someone about something I was thinking about the previous days.  Today's topic is shyness vs. confidence.  Deep down I'm not a shy person, once I get to know people I will talk anybody's ear off and I usually don't take myself too seriously.  But in new situation I can get extremely shy.  Someone mentioned how they were shy until they became more confident.  And I find myself becoming much more outgoing, daring, and sure of myself because of Zumba.  It's combating the negative body image losing weight gave me (I was happier with my body 50 lbs ago than now, where every little bump of fat is very noticeable).  And something very important is that Zumba is allowing me to get to know my body and what it feels like and how it moves and what shape it is, but Zumba kind of forces you to be sure of yourself and comfortable with yourself in public.  And the gym classes in general have given me a huge boost of self-confidence and I really find myself reaching out a lot more to people.  I'm sure I'll have my shy moments (old habits die hard; life-long habits die harder), but each day I have more outgoing moments.

I "lost" my iPod Touch so I had to come back home to get it.  Resting for half an hour then running it is.  I am not psyched about those three minutes at all.

Thursday morning, 1/21/10, 12:10a

I have to add a new Definition, whether I'd like to or not:  3-Minute Runner.

It all started before Zumba class.  I couldn't find the iPod Touch (it fell inside the recliner, I found out later when I remembered that so did the remote control), so I had to leave for Zumba.  I kind of need the Touch because it has the running program.  So I came back from Zumba and found it but lazily went to bed for 10 minutes, then half an hour.  Then I didn't want to get out of bed.  Then I fell asleep for a couple of hours or so and woke up close to 11p and decided to go for it and do it before the clock struck 12 (the gym's 10 minutes away and the run is just under half an hour).  I felt a lot better after that power nap.  So I left the house to go to the gym.

But let's focus on this a moment.  I was in bed, and knew Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday are my running days and it's a structured three-times a week, no-two-days-in-a-row program, and that I'm training for a triathlon.  And I didn't get out of bed.  I failed, I didn't push myself.  I went only when I felt good going, not when I felt I didn't want to.  I'm not going to beat myself up about it, but it's important to know that I'm not at the point yet where I will do things I don't like.  That's why I wholeheartedly believe that if it wasn't for the group classes I wouldn't have stuck with it this long.

So I get to the gym and walk five minutes, then jog 1.5 minutes.  I thought the main part of the program went 1.5, 1.5, 3, 3, I honestly did.  So I start the second 1.5 run, and it's still going past the 1.5 minute mark, and right at 1.75 I realize that's the first 3-minute run, and that I'm almost a third of the way through.  That's when Kathy "said" 'you can do anything for one minute.'  It's nice to have memories of supportive people that you can call upon at will.  So there I was, running for three minutes, and it felt great.  Right before that second run I felt good and was looking forward to the three minutes with trepidation instead of fear.  BIG difference.  So I ran the three minutes.  And when the second three minutes came around, *I* told  myself I could do it, and smiled.  Afterwards I even looked in the mirror and gave myself a shout-out by pointing to myself and smiling.

This is a turning point, because I'm beginning to think I can do anything (and by now I trust you know what I mean by that).  I look forward to doing this again in two days.

THURSDAY Ann 8a SET Beth 57/384/55, 151/80, 123/65 (326)
THURSDAY Tropicana 10a Zumba Megan G. 63/593/40, 166/88, 147/78 (591)
THURSDAY Cheyenne Noon Lift Anita B. 56/244/60, 124/66, 103/55 (190)
THURSDAY Ann 5:30p Zumba Michele 59/564/40, 165/87, 148/78 (523)
THURSDAY Sahara 7:00p Zumba Donalin 55/511/40, 201/106, 145/77 (501)


First full day with the BodyBugg (1/21/2010) = BodyBugg estimate vs. my manual estimate.

BodyBugg = 3901 calories burned

(1510 calories consumed... I was supposed to consume 1800 calories but I fell asleep while deciding what to have for dinner).

5 classes. Here are the Polar numbers: (the number in parenthesis is how much the BB said I burned)

THURSDAY Ann 8a SET Beth 57/384/55, 151/80, 123/65 (326)
THURSDAY Tropicana 10a Zumba Megan G. 63/593/40, 166/88, 147/78 (591)
THURSDAY Cheyenne Noon Lift Anita B. 56/244/60, 124/66, 103/55 (190)
THURSDAY Ann 5:30p Zumba Michele 59/564/40, 165/87, 148/78 (523)
THURSDAY Sahara 7:00p Zumba Donalin 55/511/40, 201/106, 145/77 (501)

The difference is getting smaller. Could it be that the BB adapts to you and the Polar wasn't as far off as it seemed at the beginning? It started with a difference of 60 or so calories burned per class.

My own calculations, using the Polar data:
Current weight: 162.5 lbs
30.3 body fat %

290 minutes, 2296 gross calories, net calories = (2296 - (290*1.38 (see below))) = 2296-400 = 1896 net calories (so that I don't double count the calories because if I hadn't exercised, I would have still burned 400 calories, so I really just burned 1896 calories BECAUSE of the exercise).

per the 24 Hour Fitness online calculator, I burn 1985 calories (based on 162 lbs) a day at rest, 1.38 calories a minute.

1985 + 1896 = calories burned at rest + calories burned exercising = 3881

So the BodyBugg said I burned 3901 calories yesterday, and per my own calculations with the Polar like I've been doing I come up with 3881 calories. Difference of 20 calories.

FRIDAY 10a Tropicana TurboKick Beth 55/500/40, 172/91, 149/79  
//  ^-- I almost didn't find the chest strap and was going to rely on the BB.  But I found it just in time and wore  it and the BB reset itself towards the end of class.  So much for not needing the Polar anymore, I would  have been pissed if I hadn't had it!! //
FRIDAY 5:30p Tropicana Zumba Megan G. 63/584/45, 156/88, 145/77 (536)

Ran 3 minutes twice again.  Still had to call on Kathy to get me through parts of the two minutes, but every time I did, I made sure to call on myself right afterwards in order to get used to it.  Making myself think "Go Debbie, go!!  You can do it."  I already know I can do it.  Sometimes it's harder to do something you know you can do than to do something you don't think you can do.

Have to run for FIVE MINUTES straight next week.  I have to stop looking ahead.

I'm feeling beat up this week, especially the left ankle and the right knee.  There's soreness and then there's pain.  I feel sore ALL THE TIME (especially after Dallas' spinning classes), and soreness is fine and you can work through the soreness.  Pain should be paid attention to and you should modify instead of working through pain.  Working through pain leads to injury.  So I guess it's good I'm moving starting tomorrow and limiting the gym to 2 classes a week... just 13 classes next week instead of 20.

I'm still fat and ashamed of the way I look.  I went to Mary's class today (Megan was subbing) and whenever I go to a new class I feel I'm the fatty who has to prove herself.  I hate the way I look, and wonder how I let myself go this way.  I want to tell people not to judge the way I look now, that I'm skinny inside and the body just has to catch up.  This is not me.   I want to show them my fat picture (69 lbs ago, my heaviest) so that they understand.  I wonder when the magic moment happens and you go, I'm skinny now.

SATURDAY 9a Agassi Lift Mai 49/203/60, 114/60, 101/53
SATURDAY 10a Agassi TurboKick Kelly 58/413/55, 153/81, 126/67


Don't have the BB #s recorded but it went lower on the Lift and higher on the TKB (first time the BB goes higher than the Polar).

A lot to write about today.  Let's start with physical shape.  My left ankle hurts when I walk, my right knee hurts sometimes depending on what I'm doing, both knees are making popping noises when flexed, and I am just exhausted.  Today at TKB my body finally gave out.  I didn't have anything left.  I even took off my gloves towards the middle of the class.  I failed.  After telling someone else to wear the gloves and that they could make it through the whole class, I take mine off.  I burned 100 calories less than usual.  So I guess I finally come upon the question:  What is the aftermath after failing?

There are two possible scenarios.  #1:  It was the 19th class of the week and I'd only been sleeping a handful (2-5) of hours a day.  And I've been taking 11+ classes a week for about a month and a half now.  #2:  I just gave up when I had more left.  That's the question, was that mental or physical exhaustion?  Should I feel like I failed and be hard with myself or should I just chalk it up to being tired?  But what is being tired?  Is being tired a mental or a physical state, a little of each, or depends on the situation?

The most important question is, do I feel like a loser and derail or regroup and come back harder than ever?  Or feel like a loser and then come back harder than ever?  I wrote about how I failed to run when I didn't want to with the running.  Is this preparation for something else?  Is this preparation for the last five minutes of the triathlon when I have nothing left in me but I'll push through anyway?  Do I need to feel like I failed now to keep from really failing later?  Is this just one more step in the progression?  Because I'll tell you, I feel like crap right now and I'll do anything from keeping from feeling like this again.

I think the move (starts today) came at a good time, if I didn't slow down now I could run the risk of injury, need to take it easier next week (which for me is 13 classes instead of 20... hey it's a start).  Is this my body's way of preventing something more major?  Am I really tired or was that just an excuse not to work out during that class?  I wore my gloves during 14 of the previous 18 classes prior to Kelly's TKB (because I didn't wear them during the three Lifts and the SET, but I did wear them during Pilates).  Is taking the gloves off during the middle of the 15th gloved class that week a failure?  Maybe I just reached my limit, my limit is 14 gloved classes a week... this was my first real full week with them.  So next time I just have to work up to 15 gloved classes a week.

This tiredness started a couple of days ago.  And whatever I say here to stroke my ego doesn't diminish the sense of utter failure.  I slept some today already and plan to sleep some more, then start moving (houses).

You know, losing weight is for the most part unglamorous.  Sure you have the highs like halfway, healthy bloodwork, wearing smaller clothing, but most of the time it's just neutral and long.  It's a long process.  I think I'm stuck at another plateau at 162.5 but I'll just have to ride it out.


Debbie out.

SUNDAY 9a Sahara Cycle Dallas 59/552/40, 169/89, 147/78


I was able to go hard with Dallas today.  Still not back to full form as I didn't feel "right," but able to push through.  Right knee bothered me every time I stood up but I went a few slow reps and then I was able to use it normally.  Bothered me while running too, a little bit of pain.  Left ankle surprisingly doesn't bother me unless I specifically pay attention to it.

I still don't know what happened yesterday, but during's today run I was more tired than usual and it was harder than usual but I knew I would anything not to feel like yesterday again.  I wish I could re-do yesterday and go full force.  But what difference are we really talking about?  Kelly+Dallas was 1030 last week and 965 this week.  We're talking about a difference of 65 calories.  Is it really worth it to get worked up over 65 calories?

But of course I know it's about more than that.  I'm still trying to make sense of what happened yesterday.  I gave up.  I was scared, of what I don't know.  I DO know of what I'm scared now.  I still go to the classes because it's fun.  But what happens when it ceases to be fun?  What do I do then?  I'm scared the classes will cease to be fun and I won't keep going to them, pretty much.  But running is not fun and I'm doing.  Well it is fun but it's hard work, and between Zumba and running, it's Zumba all the way.

The thing is that I don't know whether I reached mental exhaustion or physical exhaustion.  I can do 20 classes a week no problem.  But I added the gloves and I did 14 full gloved classes.  So it's different this week.  I think what may have happened is that I reached the edge, that edge between mental exhaustion and physical exhaustion, and gave up.  I tasted that space that's like when your car turns on the low gas light, where you can still go a little bit further but you're almost out of gas.  But I gave up.  But I got there.  So it's bittersweet.  Next time I get there again I'll remember the feeling of utter failure and I'll go full force, renewed. I never want to feel like that again when it comes to exercising.  It kept me going a bit today during the three minute runs.  I told myself before the run that I wasn't going to stop, and I didn't.  Kathy had to show up because I had no positive reinforcements left in me, and she held my hand that last minute.  Surprising how much that helps.  Next week I have to run five minutes.  I did give myself another smiling shout-out in the mirror when I finished.  Do you know how hard it is to do that in a gym full of people without anybody noticing?

Everything that has happened has built up to something else, so I'm not completely sure yesterday wasn't supposed to happen as part of the plan.  I just wish I knew what the plan was.  If failing one class makes me renew and go harder than ever before, isn't it worth it?  If yesterday's feeling makes me finish the triathlon without stopping, wasn't it worth it?  I just wish I could have done yesterday AND whatever is coming.  But maybe this is the way it's supposed to be.

Debbie out.

Sunday night - another vague reference, but I think my life changed today.  Again.

Monday, January 11th, 2010 to Sunday, January 17th, 2010

FOOD
Monday: Protein shake (190), protein bar (180), protein bar (180), cheese wrap (250), protein shake (190), pistacchios (170), apple (95), 88 cherries (352), banana (100), goal 1525 (total 1707)

Tuesday: Goal 1625 2 X banana (210), 2 X protein bar (360), cheese wrap (250), pistacchios (170), egg wrap (202), 2 fruit juices with fruit pieces (220), total 1412

Wednesday:  Goal:  1725   Apple (95), 2X protein bar (360), cheese wrap (250), pistacchios (340), chicken wrap (222), fruit juice with pieces (110), protein drink (190), gym snack (190), total 1757

Thursday:  Goal:  1825  Cheese wrap (250), pistacchios (170), protein drink (190), protein bar X2 (360), egg wrap (240), egg (150), Chilean Peach (40), 3 bowls of soup made from scratch, going to call the day 1825

Friday:  Goal:  1725  Protein bar (170), cheese wrap (250), 30 cherries (120), pistacchios (170), brown chicken and rice (352), brown rice and chicken (352), Yogurt/nuts/fruit mix (300), 1/3 apple bag (80), total 1794

Saturday:  Goal:  1625  Apple slices (320), protein drink X 2 (380), cheese wrap (250), pistacchios (170), yogurt mix (300), cheese and eggs (160), total 1580

Sunday:  Goal 1525  Fruit platter (Kiwi, mango, strawberries, pineapple, 560), pistacchios (170), cheese wrap (250), chicken and rice (264+220=484) + apple slices (80) = 1544

1707, 1412, 1757, 1825, 1794, 1580, 1544 = 11619

MONDAY 9a Ann Zumba Michele 59/669/30, 177/94, 158/84
MONDAY Noon Agassi Lift Rachel 56/367/60, 140/74, 118/62
MONDAY 6p Agassi Zumba Linda 58/507/50, 156/83, 135/71
MONDAY 7p Agassi PiYo Linda 62/198/60, 116/61, 89/47

Totals so far: 4 classes, 233 mins, 1741 gross cals, 1404 net cals.

I went over 182 calories over goal for today. 1525 feels like too little, but I'm going to have to start eating less as I lose weight. Then there's the fact that I burned 1404 net cals today. I burn about 2000 calories at rest, so that's 3404 cals burned, so I ate just about half of what I burned and had a caloric deficit for the day of 1697 calories. My hope is that I "catch up" because it seems I'm always a meal behind. Sunday and Monday were my first 1525 calorie days and they sucked. On Sunday I ate all of it by 1p or so and then didn't eat again that day (but I wasn't hungry until 11p or so and just held it until after midnight.

I had very good numbers with Michele. I haven't done that high in a while because as people lose weight they burn less calories at rest and while exercising. Maybe I can still hit 700+ with her. I've been doing mid-500s lately.

I've been really careful in not doing anything I don't like. I held off group classes for the first couple of months because in the past they discouraged me. I held off spinning classes because I hated them at the beginning and by the time I retook them three months later I was in good enough shape for them. I held off running for a couple more months and now I'm in good shape for it. But I'm making an exception for PiYo. I hate Yoga. I suck at Yoga. I can barely do Yoga. I think I should hold off until I'm thin and able to do it, because so far I held off doing anything I didn't absolutely positively enjoy. But maybe it's time to change that with PiYo. I didn't like Pilates and a few months after taking it, I can stand it. And maybe it's good to take something I suck at.

I've been very cold lately, and other people around me haven't. And my hair is still falling out in clumps. Maybe mention it to the doctor when I see him in a month to get my blood test results back (that's when the appointment is; I'm going to sign off the results to myself within the next couple of days, hopefully tomorrow).

TUESDAY 8a Ann TurboKick Michele 35/431/25, 178/94, 164/87
TUESDAY 9a Cheyenne TurboKick Kathy 57/602/35, 170/90, 152/80
TUESDAY 10a Cheyenne Pilates Rachel 53/218/60, 123/65, 99/52
TUESDAY 6:30p Craig TurboKick Donalin 53/516/40, 167/88, 144/76

Took Michele's TKB for the first time today.  Going to start taking it every Tuesday morning and then leave 20 minutes early to make it to Cheyenne TKB.  30-40 minutes is better than zero!!  Good warmup for the second TKB.

I thought Kathy's TKB would have lower calories than normal, since I felt tired (and very cold).  But not only did I not go down, I went up!!  These are the last two weeks of Tuesday's Lineup:

TUESDAY 9a Cheyenne TurboKick Kathy 57/537/40, 167/88, 143/76

TUESDAY 10a Cheyenne Pilates Rachel 59/189/60, 115/61, 92/49

TUESDAY 6:30p TurboKick Donalin 50/476/40, 167/88, 143/76

TUESDAY 9a TurboKick Kathy 56/541/40,170/90, 145/77
TUESDAY 10a Pilates Rachel 60/299/60, 126/67, 106/56
TUESDAY 6.30p TurboKick Donalin 57/509/45, 164/87, 139/74



Pilates suffered a bit, but the TKBs were higher.  I was very surprised.  I figured even if Kathy's TKB went down 50 calories or so, I gained 400+ calories with Michele's, so it was a good addition.  But if it makes everything else go up, it's even better!!  Even helped Donalin's at night.  Michele's per minute count is 12.31.  At 53 minutes that's 652.  I always burn more with her.


WEDNESDAY early morning - so I started writing the book.  Two days ago I met my 1k daily goal but I didn't yesterday, but I'm determined to make it up today and hit 3k today.  I should be getting the bloodwork back today, I'm really interested in peeking under the hood.  It's funny because all of this is happenning both very slowly and very fast at the same time.  Is one or even two years really that long of a time for your whole life to do a 360?  It has been almost 4.5 months since I started taking the GX classes.  When you think about it, that's really not such a long time.  The bloodwork is pretty much four months to the date.  Wonder how much of a difference four months can make.

So all of this is spilling over into other parts of my life but body composition is one of the fastest and easiest things to change (and it's not fast nor easy).  So other parts take longer.


WEDNESDAY 8a Ann Spin Dallas 57/540/45, 160/85, 142/75
WEDNESDAY 10a Sahara Zumba Michelle 58/554/45, 161/85, 142/75
WEDNESDAY 6:30p Craig Zumba Donalin 56/594/35, 170/90, 152/80

Mid to high 500s again.

I wondered aloud to somebody a couple of days ago that I was curious as to when I would feel skinny.  I'm still fat and I consider myself fat.  What's the magic number in which I'll go, ok I'm skinny?  When will I look in the mirror without seeing rolls of fat?  110 lbs?  Is there a magic switch that just turns and one day you go, oh I'm skinny?  My healthy weight is around 108-145, so I'm within 20 lbs of a healthy weight.

It's funny because not only your body changes but your mind has to adjust to being lighter.  If you spend your whole life thinking of yourself as fat, there's a whole paradigm change that goes on inside once you finally consider yourself skilly.

I want to get to 107.5 because that would be half of 215, and then go up with muscle (I may go up to 110 lbs quickly and then stabilize while I build muscle.

I ran today, and I realized I was scared of running.  I don't know why exactly.  This was week 2, so I went from running a minute, walking a minute and a half X 9 to running a minute and a half, walking two minutes six times (same running time, nine minutes).  I was able to complete the whole workout without a problem.

I noticed that I've developed what I refer to as the eye of the tiger, to borrow from one of my favorite franchises.  I'm still scared a lot all the time, for example of running, but I think there's very few things I won't try now because of fear.  And it's almost as if when I look into my eyes I smirk back at myself because I know how this all ends and I get to find out one day.  It's like my image is a few steps ahead of me and knows what comes next, and maybe one day I get to find out.  She knows what the future holds and she'll tell me in due time.

I have noticed that, while I still have the regular humanly anger, stress, sadness, anxiety, etc., I think I deal better with it and don't "freak out" when things are going badly out of order.  And I also seem to have better reflexes.  I was walking in a parking lot and a car turned on and I instinctively dove out of the way and when.... hey, that was fast!!

Fit-wise, I think I'm in better shape than I look.  I can do 4 classes in a day or three classes in a row with no problem, and 5 in a day and 4 in a row with a bit of a problem in the last one.

THURSDAY morning - Yesterday I reached 52.5 lbs lost, the halfway mark.  Now it's all downhill from there.  Took 27 weeks and 6 days.

THURSDAY 8a Ann SET Beth 56/435/50, 157/83, 128/68
THURSDAY 9a Ann HipHop MoMo 56/359/55, 147/78, 116/61
THURSDAY Noon Lift Cheyenne Anita 55/327/60/130/69, 112/59

It's funny because Anita talked about something today that I was thinking about yesterday but didn't get to blog.  Mental exhaustion vs. physical exhaustion.  I don't think I myself have surpassed mental exhaustion.  I stop the exercise when my brain says I'm tired, not when I'm really done physically.  It's something I'm going to have to keep working on, breaking that barrier.  I give up when I "feel" like I can't go any further, but I really believe that's just my mind talking.

Bloodwork results !!!

The first set is from 9/4. I started GX classes on 9/1 and I don't go to the other side of the gym. I started working out on 7/3 so the first set of numbers were already affected by 2 months of exercise. All other numbers were always normal, so just focusing on these:

Measurement ... Normal range ... 9/4 ... 1/9
Cholesterol ... 125-200 ... 231 ... 171
Triglycerides ... 0-150 ... 153 ... 72
HDL (good cholesterol) ... 46-199 ... 38 ... 52
Cholesterol/HDL ratio ... 0-5 ... 6.08 ... 3.29
LDL (bad cholesterol) ... 0-130 ... 162 ... 105

That didn't take years. That took four months. For the first time in my adult life I have normal levels for all of those. For the first time. I more than halved the triglycerides and almost halved the ratio of cholesterol to HDL. And I really didn't ramp up the exercise until the 24 classes right around six weeks ago, and started really eating well just about 3 weeks ago (my diet changed drastically from the beginning, but I've really perfected it lately).

Blood pressure is 114/54 (that lower one is near athlete level, the upper one is normal). Beats per minute hovers around 60 at rest.

I'd like to note that I don't eat vegetables. That's just who I am, never have my entire life. So that shows that you can make up a vegetable deficiency with other stuff and still have healthy numbers.


FRIDAY 9a Agassi Zumba Michelle 56/581//35, 202/107, 153/81


Someone made a comment on my Facebook today that ties in to something I've been thinking about lately.  As I lose the weight I find myself being more outgoing.  I think being fat traps your true personality inside, or maybe it's just that the same thing that made me fat was the same thing that subdued my true personality.  But I find myself being more outgoing, more sure of myself, more out there.  Not to mention more sharing.  I think I've just decided that instead of being what people want me to be I'm just going to be me, and sooner or later connect with other who are the similar.  I'm barely stressed nowadays.  And I do find myself happier, more easygoing (if that's possible... I think I've always been easygoing).  More chill.  But I definitely notice not really a change in personality, but allowing my personality to show more.  And it's weird because I'm both shy and talkative.  But I have to really know you to be comfortable around you and I've always sucked at small talk.  Not to say that I don't enjoy being around people, because I do, but I'd rather get the formalities out of the way quickly and get to the business of already having known each other for a while.  If that makes any sense.  But I find myself being more comfortable in more situations and being more daring, doing things I hadn't done before.  I think it all ties in to being more confident, having a higher self-esteem, and being more sure of myself that's letting me allow me being myself.  And it's not really that you try to go through life being a fake, but sometimes along the way you adapt to whoever is around you because we all like to be liked.  But I find myself testing out being more outgoing and open, even though I don't know how it's all going to end up.  Taking more chances, if you will.  Who am I going to be at 110 lbs?  I don't know.  I'm finding out as I go along.  I've lost half the weight and now, sometimes, I allow myself to really believe I will be 110 lbs someday.  Someday this year.  That it really may happen.  That it's really in the realm of possibility.  And then after that happens, I'm left standing with a 110 lb body that I made.  So I end up being a person who did something in life, accomplished something.  And that's a big change to adjust to.  What happens when you are sitting there and all of a sudden you did something?  What does that say as you as a person?  What can you do next?  Can you really lost 105 lbs and have low self-esteem?  No, you can't, at least I don't think so.  You can't go through all this and not have at least a little bit of appreciation that there's something inside of you that you never knew existed.  Strength, if I had to sum it up in one word.  I found an inner strength.  I found MY inner strength.  And once you find your inner strength there's really no going back, it's not something you can lose once you find it.

I find myself wondering a lot what this all means, where all this is leading, what kind of changes all this has prompted.  My life changed right before my eyes.  Everything's the same and everything's different.  I have to get to know this new me.  I have to adjust to being the new me.  Whether I want to or not.  There comes to a point that you really have no choice but to act different because your core is different, so all your actions are different.  Your essence changes, and when that happens, there's really no choice on whether you want to go back, stay still, or go forward (you have to go forward).

I don't go the gym to exercise.  I don't eat to lose weight.  I still measure myself daily many times a day but I don't really put a lot of weight (pun intended) on what the scale says.  It's just habit by now, all of it.  I get off of work, I go to the gym, I go home, I go to the gym, I go home, X2, I go to work, etc.  There's no other way to live but this one, an active lifestyle.  There's no staying on the couch for days anymore.

FRIDAY 6p Craig Zumba Donalin 54/564/40, 165/87, 150/79

SATURDAY 9a Agassi Lift Janet 52/197/60, 12767, 97/51
SATURDAY 10a Agassi TurboKick Kelly 62/521/45, 166/88, 138/73

Unusually low day for Lift.  For TKB I wore weighted gloves (0.75 lbs in each hand, from BeachBody) gloves and they were awesome, they really made it hard and the whole class was just brutal.  I loved it!!  Can't wait until Tuesday morning when I do 40 minutes of Michele with them and then to an hour of Kathy/Rachel and then later an hour of Donalin.  That will be totally awesome.  I would expect this TKB to have lower calories and heart rate and higher fat %.

Here's the fat % for the previous Kelly classes:  35.  Well, that was short.  What with the forgetting the monitor one time, two skipped weeks because of holiday class cancellations, and forgetting to turn off the Polar one time, these two are the only stats I have.  But fat WAS higher with the gloves!!

SUNDAY 9a Sahara Spin Dallas 59/509/45, 159/84, 139/74


I burned less calories than usual.  I had my new spin shoes.  They flew off the pedals twice, once only one foot, the second time both feet.  I think I push my feet outwards subconsciously.  After they flew off the second time I focused on pushing my feet in and that seemed to fix the problem.  I read on the web that the reason to keep your heels down is to keep the front of your feet from getting numb, and I never had that problem with regular shoes/harnesses, but my feet were way numb today, so that's the first order of business, learn to put my heels down.

Went running after cycling today and it WAS harder but more enjoyable than Friday.  I think I just like a challenge.  I'm going to keep this routine:  Wednesday after Zumba, Friday after Zumba, Sunday after spinning.  Once I don't need the indoor track anymore I'm going to do it after spinning on Wednesdays also at the treadmill, right now I can't because I have to go to another gym to another class and I don't have time to go to LVAC and do it in-between.  I like the indoor track for intervals because I don't have to keep pressing buttons on the treadmill and I just enjoy running "for real" more.

SUNDAY afternoon - how many things in life are mental and how many are actual?  I've been thinking about this a lot because of the running.  At the triathlon.  I did the swimming.  I did the cycling.  Now I'm running.  I can either stop or not stop until I get to the finish line.  What could cause me to stop, other than the obvious getting an injury or a bad cramp or SOMEthing like that?  If I'm all in one piece, what really stops me from taking one more step vs. stopping?  Nothing.  It's me against me.  It's my heart vs. my mind.  But isn't most of life that?  How many times do we stop just because we don't think we can vs. we can't?  How many of our stops were really due to us not being able to keep going?  I'd say about 5%.  I'd say our mind defeats us 95% of the time and we mind-stop.  Me included, and maybe more than most people.  But if you're running what's keeping you from staying in motion?  In cycling class what's keeping you from going faster and harder?  I don't think I've reached or even neared my physical limit yet, I'm still trapped by mind-limits.  I'm going to be running and there's really nothing stopping from running that 5K without stopping.  I'll have the training under my belt, I'll have double the time in the group classes, I'll be stronger, leaner, faster.  It goes back to being scared but doing it anyway.  Feeling like you "can't" go on anymore but doing it anyway.

I found my calling, what I want to do the rest of my life (I've felt this way about many things before, last of all being a therapist, and that didn't work out that well... I hated it AND sucked at it).  I want to be a motivational speaker.  First hurdle is that I hate speaking in front of people, so I plan to join a Toastmasters club.

Let's shift gears a little and talk about how we act in front of people.  I don't think most people go through life trying to be a fake version of themselves, but we all to some degree act differently depending of where we are, what we are doing, and who we are doing it with.  We all want to be accepted.  We all want to feel like we belong.  So we adjust.  But I've started to think, instead of is this acceptable or is that acceptable, could I live in a world where someone like that existed.  Is it ok to have someone like that in the world?  And in general going with what I want to do instead of what I think I should do or what other people think I should do.  I'm still not a complete convert but I'm becoming a believer.

Going back to mind vs. body stops.  I think that one benefit of exercising is that it increases your confidence and you find yourself improving and thinking you can apply this to other, or really any, area(s) of your life.  But I think there's a subtle but important difference in believing that YOU can vs. believing that it can be done period.  I think exercise really shifts your way of thinking in that you believe that anything's possible (within limits) and you start thinking that more and stuff is doable, and sooner or later that even YOU can do it.  So in order to believe that you can accomplish something you have to believe that it can be done period.  What's the difference between a person who does and a person who doesn't?  Most of the time it isn't that the person who didn't couldn't, but that they had a mind-stop.

Caloric deficit for the week:
Goal = 7k
Food consumed:  11619
Exercise:  19 classes, 1044 minutes, 8689 gross cals, 7175 net cals
1985 cals burned a day (based on 162 lbs) = 13895 cals burned a week

13895 - 11619 + 7175 = 9451 caloric deficit.

Aflac Iron Girl May 15th 2010 Sprint Triathlon training (January 4th, 2010 - May 9th, 2010 == 18 weeks).

Here's where I'll keep updates regarding the triathlon, including training info and progress.  Thoughts about the training will go in the regular weekly blog.

Going to do running on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, Cycling on Tuesdays and Saturdays, and swimming on Thursdays and Sundays.  So I'm preparing the iPod touch and after my 6p class going to go over the LVAC track and do Day 1 of Couch25K.  Here's a link to the program: http://www.c25k.com/

I have 18 weeks to train.  Here's how the training going to look:

Running:  C25K program twice (9 weeks each)

Cycling:  2K first week, +2K each consecutive week, 36K by end, triathlon is 30K.

Swimming:  2 laps first week +2 laps each consecutive week, 36 laps by end, triathlon is 32 laps.

Here's the sprint triathlon information:

Saturday, May 15, 2010
Location: Lake Las Vegas Resort
Women's Sprint Distance Triathlon
800 Meter Swim - 30K Bike - 5K Run
Race Start 6:30 a.m.

24 Classes In One Week at 24 Hour Fitness. (Monday 12/07/09-Sunday 12/13/09)

This is my account of that crazy week when I took 24 classes at 24 Hour Fitness in one week.

Questions And Answers
Running Commentary
Just the stats - food and workouts

Basic week template

// MONDAY 9a Sahara TurboKick Michelle/Janet

MONDAY 9a Ann Zumba Michele
MONDAY Noon Agassi Lift Wendy
MONDAY 5.30 Sahara Zumba Pam
TUESDAY 9a TurboKick Kathy
TUESDAY 10a Pilates Rachel
TUESDAY 6.30p TurboKick Donalin
WEDNESDAY 8a Cycle Dallas
WEDNESDAY 10a Zumba Michelle
WEDNESDAY 6.30 Craig Zumba Donalin
THURSDAY 9a Agassi TurboKick Rachel
THURSDAY 10.30 Craig Zumba Connie
THURSDAY Noon Lift Rachel
FRIDAY 9a Agassi Zumba Michelle
FRIDAY Noon Agassi Cycle Eliza
FRIDAY 6p Craig Zumba Donalin
SATURDAY 9a Agassi Lift Mai
SATURDAY 10a Agassi TurboKick Kelly
SUNDAY 9a Sahara Cycle Dallas

Food logging shorthand explanations (i.e. what is a cheese wrap?)

Work in progress.  Links lead to nutritional information.

Egg wrap - Egg Beaters egg whites and Flatout Bread Light.
Cheese wrap - 2 servings shredded cheese and Flatout Bread Light.
Protein drink - Special K protein drink.
Protein bar - Special K protein bar.
Chicken wrap - boneless skinless chicken tenderloins and Flatout Bread Light.

Watch TV Shows Online

Well, since I spend so much time here on this blog, I figured I'd stick this here.  Feel free to use it if you wish.  I'll be updating it within the next week.  This is just for me mostly so it'll just be the shows I want to watch.

Private Practice
Grey's Anatomy
House